[Fast forward another couple of years...]
* * * * * * * *
At this point, I have amassed a collection of five unitards and about a dozen tights. Some of the tights are from dance wear suppliers, so they're thick Lycra and seamed on the legs. But most are women's tights that I've been able to buy from department stores. There were plenty of trials and failures of buying tights that looked like they'd work out, but then I'd be sorely disappointed by the quality or the fit. Eventually I found a couple of brands that actually fit me OK. I started wearing them more often, like in bed and under my clothes.
But unfortunately, insecurity still lurked in the back of my mind. I wasn't really afraid of rejection at this point, if I'd managed to get caught by a girlfriend (like her rummaging through a box or drawer of mine and finding the tights and unitards). I feared that my indulgence with the tights was robbing me of my masculinity. That while I wasn't dating, all of my "bonding" with the nylon stretchiness was forging a stronger tie.
Then I met Carol.
We were working together at the same office and finding that we have a lot in common. She was rather cute, but engaged to be married, so this was a perfect opportunity to have a platonic girlfriend. I hadn't had one in a long while. It's tough with men and women... you need a special dynamic to have a friendship without a sexual angle. They say that one or both people in a male/female relationship will have an attraction for the other person on a subconscious level, that with the right circumstances can be brought to the surface. That's why you can be friends with someone for a good stretch, then one day you kind of "wake up" and realize that you're really attracted to them. Well, with an official acknowledgement of intended betrothal, there was every good reason not to think about attraction. She wasn't my "ideal" girlfriend. And, there were other girls at work I was attracted to. Funny enough, when I confided in Carol that I was attracted to Cindy, a statuesque brunette with super model looks, she sought to become her friend. Cindy had a boyfriend who was a muscle head. Of course, right? But, from what I began to learn from Carol was that she wasn't happy with him. He took her for granted and was outright rude at times. Cindy was becoming ambivalent about staying with him. That's why I decided to make my move. I invited her out to lunch.
