Taking a moment to pause -- and ask why

[... I realize it has been a while since I've written.  Life has been a bit complicated on my side, and so priorities pushed this little blog into the corner, under a pile of debris.  But, as you can see I've returned, if only for a moment ...]

At this point, I feel like I want to wrap things up here.  From the details of my last post, there is a lot of repetition.  I date, the tights get tucked away, I stop dating and the tights come out.  Wash, rinse, and repeat... tumble dry.

So, I'd like to take a moment to reflect a bit upon my tights fetish.  Not only about why I have it, but why other guys have it as well.  I think each of us have our own unique story, with some closely paralleled to others. I've gone over my story in rather significant detail here.  I did not leave that much out (only what I considered repetitious or irrelevant).

Here's my take on a few reasons why us guys have a tights fetish:

1. Sexual intimacy with the female sex, in a safe and controlled way
2. Sexual excitement purely by the tactile sensation
3. Desire to momentarily be the opposite sex

I believe that the first reason is the most common one.  There's no question that tights worn for fashion has a strong female association.  An article closely identified with the opposite sex has a gender assignment.  Wearing it is in essence getting close to the opposite sex.  It is a very intimate and sensual garment. What tights do more uniquely than any other feminine garment is to completely snugly encase the lower half of the body and apply pressure to the groin.  In a way, it's a sensual thing feeling a snug enclosure from something feminine, almost like being "swallowed".  On top of this, the tights material simply feels very good against the skin.

As young boys, we see girls and women wearing tights with their outfits, and in our minds they seem to enjoy them. Most boys get started with this by sampling tights from a close female relative or friend.  But do they feel sexually connected to any of them?  I'd say for the most part not (especially if mother or sister).  The fantasy may very well not be connected with any of them when wearing the tights.  However, take a pair of tights from a girl you've been dating and it's a different experience.  The tights association can be anonymous or connected to someone you're attracted to.

The epidermis is the largest organ of the body--it encompasses the entire body--and has the most nerves within it.  The tactile sensation of the skin can be the most stimulating.  And so, sheathing oneself within tights can be stimulating, providing the material is of very good quality and stretchiness.

The third reason is something that a notable percentage of boys experiment with.  Being a two sex species that is land-locked into one sex by birth, there can be the curiosity of what it must be like to be the other gender.  This is not a homo-erotic fantasy, but simply a wondering of what physically being the other sex is all about.  Some boys start out with gender confusion in their lives, due to upbringing environment or simply due to their inherent sexuality.  If a boy is gay and finds other boys attractive, does that mean he wants to be a girl?  Most likely not.  And yet, even heterosexuals often have bi-curious moments under the right circumstances.  The amazing thing about tights is that they provide sufficient coverage to mute the masculine appearance.  So for some boys, part of the allure is putting on the tights and having a momentary transformation.  Some go so far as to obtain other feminine accessories, most notably high heels, panties and bras.  But for the most part, the picture absolutely demands that tights (or pantyhose) be a part of it.

In my 20's and 30's, I kept waffling back and forth on how I felt about the fetish and in the back of my mind remained confused about why I continued with this fetish.  Why wouldn't I grow out of it, after having satisfying sexual relationships with women?  Well, what it ultimately came down to, as I see it, is that I fall into the 1st category.  The tights have been like surrogate girlfriends.  And when I'm dating the flesh and blood, the nylon falls away.  I lose interest.  I even tried incorporating tights into foreplay with girls that were OK with it, but something about it felt wrong to me.  Eventually I realized this duality.  As long as I'm in a strong and healthy sexual relationship, I have no desire to wear tights.

I must admit that I've also had fantasies of "conversion".  That wearing the tights is not just a feminine stimulation, but is also sometimes about being captivated by the tights.  It's as if they've enshrouded me and wish to dominate me, ultimately morphing my groin from male to female.  And there's nothing I can do about it.  They are stuck tight to me and I can't take them off.  All the while, there's no pain but instead sexual ecstasy, leaving me completely spent.

So... what happens when the day comes and I get married?  Will I find myself completely abandoning tights for good?  Or, will the urge arise one day when I least expect it, and I find myself seeking out to buy tights and fulfill a secret stash (if I don't manage to keep my little collection in spite of my wife)?  It's hard to say.  Maybe what I'll ultimately need to do is put all the anxiety and struggle to rest.  Having a spouse who is open minded and not threatened by my "interest" is something important to me, but even still... it's not so much about her being OK with it, but my being OK with her knowing.  I'm getting ahead of myself here, but it's something I have to consider down the road.


As I mentioned in an earlier post, I intended to wind things down.  Now that I've documented most of the "unfolding" of this tights fetish, I've run a bit dry on things to say.  I will return from time to time as new things develop.  And I'll definitely try to make an effort to respond to comments.  Thanks to everyone who has been interested enough to comment.  :-)