About this blog and the author
I'm an adult male in his 40's. I am heterosexual and have been in a number of happy relationships with women. And, I like to wear tights. While I had some confusion about my sexual identity when I was young, I had one very brief "above the waist" homosexual encounter and was not into it, confirming for myself that I'm hetero. It's very simple that I just enjoy the tactile sensation of having tights on. Well OK, maybe it's not quite that simple. I also have a tights fetish. What does that mean? Well, sometimes when I wear tights, if I am in the right mood and setting, the tights will excite me sexually. It can be just simple arousal or intense to the point where I have an orgasm. Tights are not a requirement for my sexuality (which is what the long held definition of "fetish" has been), but they fill a space. An "optional" sexual outlet.
I'm an adult male in his 40's. I am heterosexual and have been in a number of happy relationships with women. And, I like to wear tights. While I had some confusion about my sexual identity when I was young, I had one very brief "above the waist" homosexual encounter and was not into it, confirming for myself that I'm hetero. It's very simple that I just enjoy the tactile sensation of having tights on. Well OK, maybe it's not quite that simple. I also have a tights fetish. What does that mean? Well, sometimes when I wear tights, if I am in the right mood and setting, the tights will excite me sexually. It can be just simple arousal or intense to the point where I have an orgasm. Tights are not a requirement for my sexuality (which is what the long held definition of "fetish" has been), but they fill a space. An "optional" sexual outlet.
I developed this fetish at a very young age. It started out as just a casual interest in wearing tights, but this was rejected rather than tolerated by my mother. Her stern and negative treatment of my interest very likely exacerbated the desire, objectifying the tights and causing me to long for what I was denied. They were taboo for me but I still wanted to wear them. And so the right ingredients came into play for a fetish to begin. Additionally, the tights have a quality about them that is very sensual. A thin stretchy material hugging you all over from your waist to your toes creates an undeniable tactile sensation throughout--the epidermis is the largest organ in the body! Also, pressure upon the groin area adds to this as well, especially when wearing snug control top tights.. Finally, fashion tights have a strong female association, something that actually started sometime in the 1950's but eventually became trendy during the 1960's when some notable women in the arts and fashion scene started wearing them prominently (like Edie Sedgwick and Twiggy). Also, some fashion designers began incorporating them into their clothing lines, like Mary Quant. Tights are seen as a feminine article. And so, if something feminine is enshrouding you, you are virtually in touch with the female gender, and this can take on a sexual focus. All of these ingredients put together baked up the cake known as a "tights fetish".
Now I had to pursue this interest in secret, because I initially got caught a few times and was deeply humiliated by my mother. But the added problem is that a fetish bonding with the tights meant some sexual fulfillment was taking place. Ordinarily a young boy wouldn't be seeking out any sexual satisfaction well before puberty. If he'd get an erection, he wouldn't think anything of it or try to encourage it intentionally. Yet, wearing the tights encouraged it. So later on, when puberty hits, most boys experience an emerging sexual desire that prods their interest in girls (or boys if homosexually oriented). For me, I was certainly interested in girls, but I wasn't as "driven" to be involved with them as much as the average boy, because tights were already fulfilling my budding sex drive. In essence, I lost my virginity to tights, making them deeply rooted in my sexual psyche.
As I matured, I eventually lost my virginity with a girl, and have had a number of other sexually satisfying relationships with women. But the fetish has long haunted me. I worried that it would drain my ability to be sexually satisfying enough for my partner. And the worry helped make it true, at times. Thankfully I eventually discovered that I could have a strong sexual prowess despite the tights. However, it was an inconsistent confidence. If I had an "off" night, and wasn't able to perform, I'd blame the tights. Eventually I decided to try completely eliminating the fetish. I banned my wearing of tights for a very long time, years at a stretch. At one point, I didn't own any at all, but that was rare--I usually kept my favorites (ones the fit and felt best). This was sort of my own undoing, as the time would eventually come where I wasn't dating girls for a few months and the tights would start calling to me. I would indulge them and then regret it later, feeling like I betrayed myself.
You know how a child may have a security blanket, like the iconic Linus Van Pelt from the Charlie Brown comics? It comforts the child through stressful childhood times, until that one day when they give it up and have self confidence and security on their own. Well, I had been looking at tights like that. Once in a sexual relationship, I wouldn't be drawn to them. I'd have "moved on." But, if finding myself at a point where I'm not in a relationship, having broken off the last one and not found someone new, what then?
You know how a child may have a security blanket, like the iconic Linus Van Pelt from the Charlie Brown comics? It comforts the child through stressful childhood times, until that one day when they give it up and have self confidence and security on their own. Well, I had been looking at tights like that. Once in a sexual relationship, I wouldn't be drawn to them. I'd have "moved on." But, if finding myself at a point where I'm not in a relationship, having broken off the last one and not found someone new, what then?
At this point, I have struggled with trying to make peace with this fetish. Fearing rejection kept me from seeing other possibilities. But if I could embrace it and treat it as just another facet of my sexuality, I would indulge it when I wanted. I would have a duality, a sexual satisfaction being with a woman or with wearing tights. Is one more satisfying than the other? Ultimately, being with a woman is best; much more emotionally satisfying. But the tights have at times taken my arousal in a different direction (it's hard to explain). In a way, I could look at it as though I'm lucky. I have two very definite ways to be sexually satisfied. And part of a litmus test with a girl I'm hoping to be with for the long haul is her ability to not only tolerate this interest, but be open to understanding it and not feel threatened.
Why am I bothering to write this blog, if I feel I've made peace with it? Well it's not 100% peace. I still have remnants of the struggle in my mind, because I am so conditioned by this. I want to help excise any last remnants of it. By traversing my early memories and bring them forward to the present, I will help bring closure to any feelings that are still hidden back there. And I decided to do this publicly, because I know for certain that there are many men out there who have had a similar experience (I've read several, whose authors are completely unrelated to each other). I'll bet anything some are struggling with this too, just as I have been. If my writings can help another person to get some closure or a better understanding, even if it's just one, then this effort was well worth making public. I hope to get some encouraging thoughts/comments along the way, and any testimonies of similar experiences.
Start from the beginning: first post.
Start from the beginning: first post.
DISCLAIMER / WARNING -- By no means is this intended for any kind of sexual fantasy material. This is MY CONTENT. I own it exclusively, except for borrowed images where noted. You may not re-use it in any way, as this is my journal, my experiences, and purely my context. It is being shared merely as a courtesy, with absolutely no other intentions expressed or implied otherwise. If it is discovered that this content has been plagiarized in any way, deliberate efforts will be taken to find those responsible and make them aware of their violations. Be mindful of punitive action to be taken if there is lack of compliance. Thank you.
