The most dreaded fear and revelation

[Fast forward another couple of years...]

* * * * * * * *

At this point, I have amassed a collection of five unitards and about a dozen tights.  Some of the tights are from dance wear suppliers, so they're thick Lycra and seamed on the legs.  But most are women's tights that I've been able to buy from department stores.  There were plenty of trials and failures of buying tights that looked like they'd work out, but then I'd be sorely disappointed by the quality or the fit.  Eventually I found a couple of brands that actually fit me OK.  I started wearing them more often, like in bed and under my clothes.

But unfortunately, insecurity still lurked in the back of my mind.  I wasn't really afraid of rejection at this point, if I'd managed to get caught by a girlfriend (like her rummaging through a box or drawer of mine and finding the tights and unitards).  I feared that my indulgence with the tights was robbing me of my masculinity.   That while I wasn't dating, all of my "bonding" with the nylon stretchiness was forging a stronger tie.

Then I met Carol.

We were working together at the same office and finding that we have a lot in common.  She was rather cute, but engaged to be married, so this was a perfect opportunity to have a platonic girlfriend.  I hadn't had one in a long while.  It's tough with men and women... you need a special dynamic to have a friendship without a sexual angle.  They say that one or both people in a male/female relationship will have an attraction for the other person on a subconscious level, that with the right circumstances can be brought to the surface.  That's why you can be friends with someone for a good stretch, then one day you kind of "wake up" and realize that you're really attracted to them.  Well, with an official acknowledgement of intended betrothal, there was every good reason not to think about attraction.  She wasn't my "ideal" girlfriend.  And, there were other girls at work I was attracted to.  Funny enough, when I confided in Carol that I was attracted to Cindy, a statuesque brunette with super model looks, she sought to become her friend.  Cindy had a boyfriend who was a muscle head.  Of course, right?  But, from what I began to learn from Carol was that she wasn't happy with him.  He took her for granted and was outright rude at times.  Cindy was becoming ambivalent about staying with him.  That's why I decided to make my move. I invited her out to lunch.


The unspoken pretext was just a friendly lunch.  And she accepted.  Cool!  We went out, had a great time talking, and wandered back to the office a good 20 minutes late.  And that was it.  Cindy remained friendly with me, but she kept me at bay, not letting the relationship advance beyond very basic office friendship.  Carol and I were developing a good friendship though.  And, she wasn't very forthcoming about some casual things I'd wanted to know about Cindy.  I didn't realize it until later... that she was trying to protect her interest.  That Carol was developing an interest in ME.

Long story short, Carol dumped her fiance, became single again, and then openly told me outright that she liked me a lot and wanted to know if I felt the same.  It was a major surprise!  I had turned the other way from seeing the signs, as I assumed her engagement was real and that it was a sure thing.  So, we started dating.  It was terrific!  I had casually dated a number of women in the past, but this time it felt special.  Although sex didn't get off on the right foot straight off, after the 2nd try it did.  And wow, was it good!

So we dated for something like a year... and during that time I didn't wear tights.  My sexual engine was fully focused on Carol.  But, one day, as I watched Carol put on a pair of really sexy pair of semi-gloss pantyhose, I thought about how they must feel.  Carol wore them as part of her office outfit, but truth be told she could care less about pantyhose.  They were OK to her, providing a little extra warmth with a 30 denier style during winter, but otherwise she'd prefer to have her legs free of them.  When she learned I had a thing about seeing her in pantyhose, she indulged me a little.  It was fun during foreplay when she'd wear them for a while... but she was all too eager to take them off.

One day, I pulled my unitards out of "hiding", and started wearing them again.  I don't know why, but it just happened.  I realized that despite having a very good sex life with my girlfriend, that the need to wear tights would still continue.  Something got in my mind about telling Carol of my tights fetish.  We were becoming quite close and since this was a significant part of my life, I felt it best to tell her.  Otherwise, I'd have to continually hide it.   And so I did.

At the time, it felt like it was the most difficult thing I had to do in my life.  Here was a woman I loved and I risked her rejection by my confession.  I guess in a way it was a litmus test.  If she really loved me, she'd be understanding if not just tolerant.  It wasn't like I was cheating on her!  And...

Thankfully, she turned out to be what I'd hoped.  She sensed my dread of rejection and reassured me I had nothing to worry about.  She also kept an impartial point of view, telling me how there were things far more scary and unsettling that people did, and this was nothing in comparison.  In essence, she really didn't mind.  I was..... so..... relieved!  I must admit, it was only a confession that I liked to wear tights, that I liked the way they felt and enjoyed the extra low-bulk warmth in the cooler months.  I didn't tell her there was a sexual thing about them, that I wore them to "get off."  If I did, that might've been too much.  In any case, I was lucky.  She didn't reject me.  I was not a terrible freak to be shunned.  I was still someone to respect and love.  For me it was a day of the most dreaded fear and the deepest sigh of relief.

[I never did tell her that it was a fetish, though.  She never caught me rubbing myself with them on and getting that kind of enjoyment.  Mainly, we had a very good sex life and I just didn't have a need to wear them much at all.]