Well...

My last post was almost 13 years ago. A lot has happened since then.

In a bungled manner of trying to erase some of my past that I didn't want anyone to know about, I had deleted my records of this account... so I couldn't remember my password, or even the email address I'd used. It was essentially "locked out." Years later, on a lark, I stumbled upon a page in my encrypted password manager that I'd overlooked. And there, in code, were my credentials. So now I was able to sign in.

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It's November 2025.

In my last entry, January of 2013, I'd declared that my fetish was over. That I'd conquered it. Freed myself. And actually, for a time it seemed that I did. I planned a multi-step approach to purging my hosiery collection. I would immediately toss out my least adored hosiery, the cheap stuff. And then the tights that were in very good shape but hardly worn, I dropped them off in a clothing donation bin. But, I kept my favorites. Was it like the alcoholic that has been sober for a solid few months and had tossed out all his liquor except for some he'd save for guests? Or for the hope of a future time when he'd be able to sip a little and not fall off the wagon? Part of me actually thought that if I ended up in a relationship with a rather tall woman, and she appreciated hosiery, I might gift her my collection.

Well, as luck would have it, my relationship front had gone dry. I realized that having reached a certain age that my odds of finding someone I'm compatible with was really low. And frankly, I'd been coming across so many women with fixations and issues that I saw little hope of acclimating to. You can never expect to enter a relationship with the hope of changing the other person for the better (as you see it). I was dealt a good hand in the beginning of life. A white male from an upper middle class family with good physique, good looks, and a creative mind. But I just kept missing the target. I did end up in 3 serious relationships that reached the point of engagement or ending. One lasted nearly 3 years. But, it just didn't work out on my end. After the last one where I'd had such high hopes, I was devasted. And I took a long break to reset myself. Yet, as I tried to move forward, every time I found a woman I was excited about, she was already with someone else. I wasn't looking for perfection. No, just a pleasant looking nicely grounded smart woman (and not neurotic) who can appreciate me and work together as equal partners in life. So far I've failed to find her. My optimism is at an all time low.

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At this point, I was growing tired of feeding my sexual urges with porn. It was becoming routine, boring, and unfulfilling. And after reaching orgasm, what is there? Nothing. 

My black nylon zippered shoulder bag holding the remainder of my tights collection came up in my mind. And I decided, eventually, to go back to it. The pleasure is far more fulfilling, because there's a definite tactile sensation and feeling. It's not just "rub one out" and be done. In fact, I find I can just lay in bed feeling the excitement and not releasing. It's--better than the alternative for now.

I haven't completely given up on relationships. I am looking to do more in the way of public meetups. Online dating just absolutely sucks, as least it has, for me. But until then? I'm at least getting some solace with my old fetish that was just waiting for me to return. 

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Where do I go from here? I don't know. Maybe I'll post a little about my collection. What has appealed to me and what hasn't. I was actually for most of my time with the fetish only interested in very opaque tights. Sheer was just not appealing. But, what about in between? Well, most very opaque tights are 70+ denier. And they're an insulating kind of garment. So wearing them in bed eventually becomes uncomfortable. Especially when moving around (they tend to shift). I found that semi-opaque hosiery with a bit of a sheen to them have more glide and won't shift much, as well as breathe a bit better. And actually, the tactile feel, especially with nice quality textiles, can be even more enjoyable. Over the years, I had picked up a few pairs that are about 40 and 50 denier, which I simply wasn't wearing much. And now, with my return, I'm finding more "synergy" with them vs. the very opaque ones. 

Anyway that's about all I have to say for now. I'll try to follow up in due time. If anyone is still following and watching, that's for listening.  :-)

It's Over

I've expressed plenty of introspection on why my particular fetish arose. I understand where it came from and why it grew. And if I could sum it up in a single word, it would be "misunderstanding." Human beings are sexual even before puberty. And because of their extremely young age, children can become sexually confused. While I do believe that genetic abnormalities can arise that make someone homosexual, something that goes way beyond choice, a fetish isn't genetic but simply a misconception that happens at a vulnerable, impressionable time.

Any guy who has a fetish for tights has a very strong impression of the tights having a feminine identity. When you wear a pair of footless running tights made for male athletes, do you find yourself reacting the same way?  I suspect 99% of the time not. Take a pair of footed tights and enclose them in male oriented packaging and the power of the fetish dissipates into nothing.

I went through a phase during this past winter of wearing tights underneath my pants whenever I could. What I found was that most of the time I was not only conscious of wearing them, I was often uncomfortable. Because the extra warmth is welcome while walking outside in severely cold weather, but it's a bother when you're indoors. Not only that, because of how the waistbands are typically constructed on women's tights, they often roll over (because men's waists aren't as contoured as women's) and make them a pain to deal with.

What I eventually began to discover is that I wasn't happy wearing them under my pants. And as I began to get more in touch with how this whole thing started off as a "misunderstanding", I couldn't escape the idea of reframing how I see it.  I had an epiphany.  To clear it all up and reset to a "proper" understanding.

It has been a month now and I'm happy to report that I'm there. Tights are just fabric. A skin tight garment that covers the lower half of the body as a mode of fashion for women. It works for them, and no wonder why as they're so popular. They don't work for men based on male clothing styles. I think guys in shorts with tights clad legs showing look ridiculous. The only "plausible" use I can see is as a sleep garment on very chilly nights. They actually can help in that way. Otherwise...

So I'm done. The cycle is over. It took a while... longer than I would have liked. But in a number of ways I feel freed from something that distressed me for far too long (worrying about having this "aberration" and having to deal with fear of rejection). Time to move on.  And with that, this blog is done.  Thank you for reading and best of luck!

Where did you go?

I'll bet that this is a very frequent occurrence.  Someone starts a blog and keeps it going for a time, then suddenly drops off, leaving the followers wondering what happened to the author.  In some cases, blogs end up abandoned or eventually pulled by the hosting service as an inactive account (hard disk space is cheap, but a little bit added up over time makes a difference).

I had actually considered abandoning this blog.  Why?  Because I felt I had pretty much achieved my objective.  I wanted to write a diary about my tights experience starting from the very beginning, and comb through all of my memories about it as a therapeutic exercise.  It actually helped, quite a bit in fact. It was certainly a trip down memory lane. I put myself in touch with some memories I had left dormant for several decades. But it was also enjoyable too. I can look back on myself with amusement of how I struggled but also how I enjoyed wearing tights and the way I developed the interest over time.  When I was a pre-teen, I never ever thought that I'd find myself still wearing tights several decades later, not to mention having several super stretchy neck to toe Lycra unitards, but also come to see tights "opened up" as an athletic garment for men (outside of ballet).

If I were to abandon it, all of this work would be lost.  A site like this won't likely be captured by the "Way Back Machine" website (the "Internet Archive"), and in fact I checked--it isn't there.  So it would be a good idea to try keeping it alive.

I don't have a lot of followers... 8 in total as of this writing.  Only a few have written to me, expressing gratitude or sharing similar perspectives. But it's amazing to see how I seem to get hundreds of views every week, with a grand total of over 26,000 page view hits since the blog began under a year ago. Well, I do hope it never goes viral--that would be embarrassing! But I do have compassion for those people who have gone down a similar road as me, and how my writings may help them in one way or another.

So my intention is to keep it going.


On a side note, it's interesting to see what else is out there, in terms of guys writing about the interest of wearing tights. While the down economy put a major hole in the "male tights" garment category (the major European hosiery maker Gerbe has dropped all of their men's tights products), there are still plenty of guys buying them from other makers.  And a number of blogs continue to push forward, documenting the interest and even posting reviews of tights.

Do a simple "hosiery for men" Google search and immediately you will find hits for sites that sell tights for men, as well as blogs about the subject. Two blogs I immediately noticed are "Hosiery for Men" and "Tights for Men" (I won't link them here for privacy reasons, but do a search and you'll find them).  While the former is quite active with tons of reviews of tights made for both women and men, the latter appears to be inactive but having amassed quite a lot of content. I was actually impressed with the tights reviews published on both sites.  Lots of helpful tips in finding good quality tights for yourself, whether you're a man or a woman.  :-)

A stitch in time and a run can change your mind

In my last post, I brought up some ideas as to why a tights fetish can develop and perpetuate.  Of course this was a generalization, not a rule, as each person is different.  We all have our own unique psychological makeup that drives us, defines our needs, and affects the way we see things.

Some of us continue to carry shame for the fetish, while others embrace it or even try to ignore it.  In the end, what is most important is to find peace.  Sometimes finding that peace means making a sacrifice.  What do I mean?

Well, let's say you have grown to adore wearing tights and can't imagine never wearing them ever again (for sexual interest).  The sacrifice would be losing relationship possibilities.  While it's easy for someone to say "A woman with a loving and open mind will accept this as part of who I am," the fact is that most women will find it strange and difficult to accept.  Why?  Because it's a threat in two ways:  1) Sexual identity ("my man is showing a feminine side too prominently--maybe he secretly wants to be a woman or has gay tendencies?"), and 2) Sexual mistrust ("Maybe he finds this fetish more satisfying than me?").  Despite verbal reassurances to the contrary, once the perception is set it is very hard to uproot it.

On the other hand, the other sacrifice is to "mute" the fetish desire and try putting it behind you, in favor of keeping the risk out of relationships.  If you have a strong satisfying sexual relationship with a woman, that could overshadow whatever joy you got from the fetish, allowing you to try "disowning" it.  But the mind is a tricky thing.  There may come a day when you're separated from your girlfriend or wife for a long period, or happen to a see a woman wearing tights in a very sexy way that conjures up old feelings that beg to be satisfied.

Taking a moment to pause -- and ask why

[... I realize it has been a while since I've written.  Life has been a bit complicated on my side, and so priorities pushed this little blog into the corner, under a pile of debris.  But, as you can see I've returned, if only for a moment ...]

At this point, I feel like I want to wrap things up here.  From the details of my last post, there is a lot of repetition.  I date, the tights get tucked away, I stop dating and the tights come out.  Wash, rinse, and repeat... tumble dry.

So, I'd like to take a moment to reflect a bit upon my tights fetish.  Not only about why I have it, but why other guys have it as well.  I think each of us have our own unique story, with some closely paralleled to others. I've gone over my story in rather significant detail here.  I did not leave that much out (only what I considered repetitious or irrelevant).

Here's my take on a few reasons why us guys have a tights fetish:

1. Sexual intimacy with the female sex, in a safe and controlled way
2. Sexual excitement purely by the tactile sensation
3. Desire to momentarily be the opposite sex

I believe that the first reason is the most common one.  There's no question that tights worn for fashion has a strong female association.  An article closely identified with the opposite sex has a gender assignment.  Wearing it is in essence getting close to the opposite sex.  It is a very intimate and sensual garment. What tights do more uniquely than any other feminine garment is to completely snugly encase the lower half of the body and apply pressure to the groin.  In a way, it's a sensual thing feeling a snug enclosure from something feminine, almost like being "swallowed".  On top of this, the tights material simply feels very good against the skin.

Moving on...

[Carol and I continued to date for almost two years, and I did not seek to involve hosiery in our intimate moments.  I completely stopped wearing tights or unitards.  It was as if the fetish never existed for me.

All good things eventually come to an end.  I wasn't planning on that happening with Carol.  But somehow we were just in different places.  I wasn't ready to settle down, but for her the clock was ticking.  And so we parted ways.  Because we worked at the same place, it was tough having to run into each other nearly every day.  Eventually I changed jobs and moved out of state.]

It was a bit stressful being in a whole new place, with only one friend nearby.  The new job was a mixed situation as well.  While I felt very competent at what I was tasked to do, I was faced with a clique situation and I found it increasingly difficult to "win over" my co-workers.  They were a pretty tight knit little group.  I eventually transferred to another group in the company and that worked out much better.  Dating wise, there weren't any real prospects.  Most of the women at work were married, or in a serious relationship.  Those that weren't were not desirable to me.

In retrospect, I wish I'd had a lot more self confidence.  I was terrible with the club and bar dating scene, about the only venue I knew of to meet women.  I'd made some new friends at work and this was all they knew as well.  I tried to branch out and take some classes in the arts, in hope of meeting up with women in the "real world", but nothing came of that.

I still had a lot of boxes I'd not yet gone through at home, so I figured it was time to cut through them and get it over with.  Some boxes didn't have labels on them and so I left those for last.  Eventually when I got into them, I found one having a zip up duffel bag inside.  When opening that up, I found a tied off garbage bag.  And then inside that... a large collection of tights and unitards.  It was strange to see them again.  I felt oddly detached and yet was keenly aware of how I used to feel about them.  The red footed lycra tights stood out among the rest.  Touching them, I was curious to know if they would feel any different this time around.  So, I slipped them on...

New possibilities, to indulge or not

Now that my girlfriend knew of my fetish, the next thing was... what do I do now?  Did confessing mean I could now wear them in front of her?  Would she be alright knowing when I'm wearing them under my trousers?  Would she be open to the idea of wearing them together when we're indulging in foreplay?

The first step I took was to put them on in front of her while I would be getting dressed for work, completely covered by trousers except for my ankles.  She would make a few glances my way and smile at me when our eyes met.  She actually thought I looked good in them.  And I absolutely loved watching her slip into pantyhose, something she did often for her work "uniform".